There is one thing that I dislike and that is change. For a large part of my life I have had the good fortune of being in line with stability. I was raised in a stable loving family and comfort well it was always there. I knew my parents and my family had my back. I expected forever and I like many others of a young age always believed I would have my forever. Change knocked on my door when I was just 21 years old. Surely I had the world by the tail until that fateful day a knock on the door changed my stability and rocked my world. My only brother, the baby of our family had been killed in a head on auto collision. That day my forever came to an end. I watched as my family sank into a place of unknowing and fear. That day my father became fearful of the world and all the bad things that could possibly befall us. He had lost his trust.
I watch this day as my parents are now elderly. I watch as their gait is slow and they are unsteady. My father is now in a wheelchair and my mother gets around with a walker. I have witnessed my father go from my strong able bodied protector to the man of my heart that I now protect and help. I have winced as I have had to bathe my father and assist his bodily needs shortly after he was confined in the chair. I have seen him gain more strength and learn new skills with his sheer determination and often marveled at his will. There were moments of our togetherness when he admitted his fear and I watched his frustration when he would attempt the smallest task. Being a care taking daughter to a father requires humitilty on all parts. Modesty came and quickly left as we travelled this road together. My mother comes from strong country stock and was always the backbone and strength of the family. She is the one who holds the family stories, the one I can ask about relatives long since gone. I too witness her ever increasing frailty and realize one day if I outlive my parents I will become an orphan. I don’t want to be an orphan and I wonder who I will call when I no longer have my parents. Who do I run to when life gets hard or I get scared? One never realizes how alone we are until we want to reach out to our mama’s.
I am blessed to still have my parents in my life and try my best to appreciate each moment. Being with elderly parents teaches us great patience and requires us to stretch in ways we never thought we could. It requires compassion, love, strength and endurance. It requires us to answer the same question over again even it is has been 20 times. It tells us that one day we too will be in this place if we are fortunate enough to have a long life. Love requires us to go the extra distance all the while taking care of our own physical and mental needs. We are all being given a gift and we need to recognize it for what it is.
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